The Seven “Wonders” of Malaysia….as we always know it and forever there to stay

               Malaysia….ah yes, for so many reasons, it’s truly the land to live in and die for. To those who probably don’t already realized this, being a Malaysian is so God- blessed. We can always pride ourselves that this land of abundant opportunities is the land of our birth. There are just too aplenty to so many good things for which even the deaf and blind could vouch for. It’s so very vibrant, colorful, spirited and soulful, progressive and yet rich and steep in traditions with its melting pot of cultures from the co-existence and inter-mingling of its multi-races, religions and languages. It is also a paradise for food and shopping too. Not many nations in this world could take pride of such stature. But still, somehow and sadly too, some “clueless intellectuals” who themselves are Malaysian born and bred take pride to say the otherwise. To this day I still cannot comprehend why is it that this group of Malaysians especially some from the younger breed do not feel strongly about this fact but instead they take pride to tarnish the image of the nation to the rest of the world. To this group of people, if I could only say this; ……save your provoking and rebellious thoughts, your vociferous and raucous cry for freedom of speech, your consistent criticisms towards the present legitimate government that was itself elected through the ballot boxes, your unethical opposing ways etc..etc..etc….NOT until you have travelled the world and set foot to some god-forsaken land and see for yourself what others have to do merely to survive. For the record, I have been on numerous times to these lands and hence truly qualify me to express this and differ from your negative stand. See with your own eyes the hardships, sufferings, poverty and a hundred kinds of social ills and failures that people of these countries have to come to term with and how the governments of these countries have failed miserably to overcome those problems. Perhaps then (if you people are not such a numbskull) you would truly understand what a backward country really represents and all negativities associating it. Also please realize the fact that there is surely no such thing as a perfect country with perfect governance and this beloved land of ours is no exception to such imperfections. Get real, please!  

Regardless of what some self-righteous blokes would always paint it to be, even if I’d lived and died a dozen times over, I would still pick this country for the dozen lifetimes….. yes, and that too in spite of the infamous dirty and smelly Malaysian public toilets, clogged and polluted  rivers and streams, traffic congestions, unscrupulous taxi drivers, never-ending road works and repairs, the seasonal haze and floods, the menacing Ah Longs, influx of illegal immigrants, mat rempits and etc, etc, etc. My final verdict….this so-called “backward country” of ours is still the choice of land to live in.

But of course, that I have mentioned some of Malaysians’ shameful and nothing-to-be-proud-of-habits and behaviors (which could easily put us topping the categories in any international research and surveys) I would wish that these “setbacks and imperfections” could be improved over time (only God knows how long that is going to take) through civic consciousness and the embracement and internalization of good moral and ethical values by all Malaysians particularly amongst the young and our future generation. So let’s look at what we have “achieved” so far that have made us so well-known internationally by such feats. And in my own assessment of standards and measures, deservingly we have the Seven Wonders of our very own! Look no further and you can see what I mean……….

Wonder Number 1 : The public toilets.

Perhaps, this needs no further elaboration. To the faint-hearted, think 10 times before you make your way to any of the public toilets. Unless your nose is totally blocked and your eyes are blurred then it is reasonably “safe” to do your business in that Fear Factor place. I remembered an experience once when I was in this mamak’s restaurant. After consuming a piece of roti canai and a small portion of mutton curry to go along with it, I suddenly had that “urge” that required a quick dash to the toilet. It surely must have been the curry that had caused that sudden call of nature which at that point in time could no longer be contained under whatever circumstances. I was like in a life or death situation and any additional seconds delayed would probably cause me the greatest embarrassment of my life…if you know what I mean! That mutton curry could have well been the left-over from previous day’s serving. You would probably have heard about how these mamak restaurants operate. They never ever waste the left-overs because they recycle….waste not want not. And there would surely be fools (like me) who would consume it! And so, as I dashed my way to the toilet, I prayed real hard (seriously, real hard!) to God Almighty may the toilet be just “reasonably” clean for me to do my short business. Wishing for a sparkling clean public toilet in this land is akin to wishing for a miracle…so I just wished something more realistic. And the minute I opened the toilet door the choking smell almost knocked me out instantly. It was as if somebody had stuffed my nose with chloroform. Besides the smell, the condition of the toilet bowl was definitely not a sight to behold either. I almost threw up but as my stomach was controlling my brain at that most crucial and defining moments, I pulled all guts and courage to “mount” myself on that toilet bowl. Saving all the little details, only God knows the agony that I went through. If that entire experience was a Fear Factor elimination round, I would surely have made it to the next round then! Another Mat Salleh competitor would have called it quits. I simply cannot understand it. What is it with Malaysians that they just cannot do their business in the public toilets with some decency and “business ethics”. They don’t even care to flush their s**t! It is so uncivilized besides sinful. I am sure that’s not the case when they are in their own homes. Didn't their elementary school teachers teach them basic hygiene? I am pretty sure they have been taught so because when I was in Primary One back in 1961 we kids were taught how to flush the toilet bowl and wash our hands with soap after every visit to the toilet. Our colonial masters, the Mat Salleh had left us some good legacy. They taught us many things of good values such as common hygiene, cleanliness and basic etiquettes for example. Just walk into any public toilets in Thailand and the Thais would put us to great shame. And the Thais had never needed any Mat Salleh to teach them on such ethics. If we asked any foreign tourist in KL and seek their opinions of our public toilets, 9 out of 10 would probably say that Malaysia’s public toilets are toxic gas chambers and the stench emitted could even be more lethal than the potent sarin gas! You folks don’t believe me?…….venture it yourself then!  

Wonder Number 2 : The Mat Rempits a.k.a Daredevils on wheels.

Wonder Number Two had also got be so wondering…why is it that Malaysia has never ever produced a world motorcycle champ? The manner these particular group of motor riders who are popularly known as “mat rempit” ride on the highways could easily make legend like Valentino Rossi look like a novice. And what’s really amazing is that these mat rempits are only riding on “kapcai” machines (small cc motorbikes). They go on full throttle with only their hands on the handle bar and with both legs positioned horizontally as if in a flying position like the animated cartoon superhero Superman and they would weave through the traffic with such deadly speed.  Now if that is not a “wonder” you folks tell me what it is then! Not anywhere in this planet can you see these breed of daredevils….only in Malaysia. And for the record too, the World Health Ranking puts Malaysia at number 20^th in the 2011 list of most deaths caused by road accidents (60% of the deaths involving motorcyclists). The latest 2014 list should put us in the top 3 bracket (if not topping it!).

Wonder Number 3 : Gluttony.

Ah yes….the all too familiar sight that one would surely see of how some typical Malaysians consume food especially during the various Malaysia’s festive Open Houses, Company AGMs, private parties, weddings or wherever and whenever the food spread is free. On the word “Go” as natural as it can be, the amazing race for food begins. If they came with family members, all of them (except one who would usually “secure” the tables and chairs) would make a dash to the food spread table. Some would even have two plates to scoop as much food as possible until the plates mount like a molehill…appetizers, main dish and desserts, all in that one plate and in one queue! Sometimes the plate gets too full to the brim that they would have to do some balancing act and tip-toe their way to their tables! But that’s just not the only sinful part, one should see what’s being left on the plates when they leave their tables after they are done eating….that is the biggest sin! The left-overs of food would be just about enough to feed another group of people. Sympathy goes to those back-end liners who would only get crumps, fish or chicken bones and gravies by the time they get to the food spread…they can only blame themselves for being polite and courteous or even arriving slightly late for the event. In this country, turning up late at an event is not a big issue really. The fanfares, speeches and other customary itineraries at the start of an event are unimportant, BUT “makan time” is! In some Company AGMs that I have attended, I even noticed some invited guests (who probably owned just some small shares of the company) came all prepared for the food assault. They brought food containers in their bags to “tapau” the food! Again, if this isn’t another Malaysian “wonder”, please correct me then………..

Wonder number 4 : Getting out of an elevator or LRT train.

 You are in a packed elevator and as the door of the elevator opens at the floor that you had intended to exit, a sudden rush of people from the outside tried to make their way into the elevator at the same time that you are exiting it. It’s just like a mad rush scene with people either squeezing their way in or out of the elevator. Sounds very familiar huh? It’s the same at the LRT stations. I have tried to figure out why Malaysians behaved so….I failed! Malaysia has some of the best world class facilities but sadly some Malaysians with a “sub-zero” mentality exist to misuse those. They simply don’t have that grey matter. Talking about being civic-minded, I watched on TV how the Japanese displayed an incomparable civic-consciousness in the aftermath of the 2011 earthquake that hit the Pacific coast of Tohoku, Japan. When the basic aids finally came and were distributed, the people did not make a mad rush as most Malaysians would. I was amazed and taken aback to see those people who were surely in thirst and hunger lining up and patiently waiting for their turns. The queue line curled at least a few thousand meters long. Such display of patience and civic-consciousness under desperate and critical situations is a wonder of its own that we can all emulate from the Japanese, along with many other things certainly. Perhaps, that was why our former Premier, Tun Mahathir, had propagated the idea and policy of Look East many years back then. Oh, my wife is a strong advocator of looking east too…she loves many things Japanese and Korean….shushi, Korean handbags, Korean TV dramas……..and many more…..

Wonder number 5 : Malaysian taxi drivers.

The Malaysian chapter of “wonders” would never be complete without the inclusion of our infamous cab drivers. Over the years these unscrupulous and dishonest cab drivers had arguably contributed significantly to the bad name of the country. There are but of course a handful of good and honest ones but not many though. The government has practically exhausted all ways and means to educate these people who are supposed to play the role of little ambassadors of the country but all came to nought. These cab drivers is at liberty to choose who they want to pick as their passengers especially so during peak hours. Unsuspecting and ignorant tourists would be their easy targets. Not only that, they are the ones that fix the fares and usually they would charge an exorbitant amount which only the very desperate passengers would agree to. The sticker pasted onto every taxi door that says something like this; “This is a metered taxi. Haggling of fare is prohibited” is an absolute mockery! The cab driver dictates whether he wants to activate the meter or not. If the passenger argues with him the cab driver will just say to you; “You angkat lain teksi lah!” Then there are cab drivers who would only send their passengers to a distant destination if only the passenger would pay double the fare. Reason given is that their taxis would return empty on the return trip and therefore the fare should be doubled. It’s simply atrocious and day-light robbery. But you’d think they care? But hey, we are in Malaysia and they know that the enforcement officers from the Ministry only comes but once a year, just like your birthday or Hari Raya, CNY, Deepavali or Christmas………..isn’t this wonderful?

Wonder number 6: The never ending road-works.

You have been driving along this particular stretch of road for years. The road had since a very long time ago (perhaps since the last two General Elections) needed major repairs to close the potholes and uneven surface as a result of heavy traffic usage. One fine Friday evening on your way back from work, you got a very pleasant surprise as you drive through the same stretch of road. At long last, the road had finally been resurfaced and what a smooth drive you had driving back home. On the next Monday morning, going through the same road to work, you find yourself stuck in a horrible traffic jam. As you inched your way (like about one hour later) you passed through the point that had actually caused that horrible jam……half of the road was closed and a backhoe  was seen digging a big trench across the newly resurfaced road. Almost instantly you’d just like to scream “what the s***t are these fellas doing?” You see men laying cables and pipes across that newly resurfaced road. It’s a joke! Whatever happened to planning and coordination between these service agencies? Well probably the word “coordination” has never been in their vocab. And guess who bears the brunt of their utter ignorance and lack of planning? Yes, it is you and the many other thousands of road users. Sure, these guys will patch up the road again but it would be such a shoddy job that by the time the monsoon comes the stretch of road would be the resemblance of the old and torturous road that you have always knew….simply wonderful Malaysia!

Wonder number 7 : The queue jumpers.

It’s the mad hour rush to the office. You have been stuck in the middle of the traffic for what seems to be like hours. And as you inched your vehicle towards the toll booth lane suddenly this car from your left swerved and cut into your lane. The driver of that car could not care less about your right of way and as if you didn’t exist. The least he could have done was to give you a kind hand gesture and with a smile. But that’s what a typical Malaysian driver is by and large. The emergency lanes along our super highways are no exception. It takes just one car to be the champion or paver for other cars behind to follow and cut through the emergency lane and there we have it…from a four-lane highway to a six. I have lost count of the number of road safety and awareness campaigns organized by dozens of enforcement agencies. Nothing seems to go into the thick skull of our Malaysian drivers. Again, I still cannot understand the fact that some of these drivers are well educated, esteemed and respected people with high positions in the society or corporate entities. They normally display polished mannerism at the office or in official functions and events but when they are behind the wheels they suddenly transformed themselves as the devils. It is as if they are being hypnotized by the force of the road devils and haunting spirits. Pray hard that your vehicle don’t get involved in a road accident on Malaysian roads. In the US, Europe and other part of the more civilized society countries, when you are involved in a road accident the driver of the other vehicle would immediately rush to you and ask if you are okay. In Malaysia, regardless whether you are in the right or wrong, the driver of the other vehicle would get out of his/her car and immediately examine from front to back his/her vehicle to determine the extent of damage. After that is done he/she would go to you and (as if that is the SOP after very road accident) would blame you for the mishap. Some aggressive ones would even shout and use abusive language…some mild ones being “ Oi, you bawa kereta laju laju, mahu mati ka? ” or to the money conscious ones “ so, now how much you want to pay for the damage to my car, aah?”. Well, that is the reality when you are on the Malaysian roads.

So there we have it folks…our very own seven wonders. I doubt that there are other nations that could out-shine us in any of those mentioned. But as I have said earlier, I am still very proud being a Malaysian and perhaps (hopefully) you, my dear readers, have the same patriotism and love for this country regardless of what others want to say about it……….May Allah bless this beloved land. Aamin.

Khalid Abu Bakar